the silhouette the face always turned away (tofutoes) wrote,
the silhouette the face always turned away

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Hot Hot Heat's God God Dammit was my theme song today. So many things went wrong, i am sick of recounting it all. my car is essnetially useless now. It would be 5000 to fix it and i am unwilling to do that because its just is not worth it. Apparently its down two cylanders or something ( i basically fucked up the engine). Family issues have just gotten worse. Much worse. There is no comfort anywhere. No where to turn. Oh well. And suddenly one more year seems much too long, and yet not enough time. I really need to meet someone that i know i can depend on... because at this point i don't think i have a friend i can, only their parents. I think i need a new job, i want to start getting enough money to save for an apartment when i am 18, essentially 11 months to go... either that or get a bf who already has an apartment. Must meet someone i could eventually live with when i can leave this place.
But now i don't know what to do. I have this unbelievably crazy schedule and no car. It wouldn't be a big deal if i was even on normal speaking terms with my parents, but any word that comes out of my mouth faces an argument. Blah. I am going to start looking around for cars i guess, my parents would die before considering getting me a car. They don't even want to let me go to college anymore it seems. They still think i am not going to graduate from high school, but what they don't realize is that i have all teh credits i need to graduate, i just need my last year of english. Oh well. 10 years from now they will realize. Haha. I hate how prolonged everything is to them.
But as for now i guess it is back to my room. I am trying to fight of sickness, not to mention a mental breakdown. So much weight is put on me lately... music is much more stressful than it ever should be. Enough bitching. Take care all.
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