the silhouette the face always turned away (tofutoes) wrote,
the silhouette the face always turned away
tofutoes

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everytime the day darkens down and goes away pictures open in my head...

Once again i do not know just where to start. I suppose i can just go back in time (from most recent) and then go forward to the future, i love doing things that way.

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Last night i finally watched The Rules of Attraction. Not sure just what to say about that movie, i think i need to watch it again. It was filmed at University of Redlands, i am still wondering how they got it to look like it snowed there, haha. Some gorgeous shots in that film. Disturbing though.
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I also saw this movie Rain which was made in New Zealand i am taking. It was about this 13 year old girl i suppose coming of age and watching her parents marraige fall apart as her mother engages in an affair. It was hard to tell if it was actually old (it said 2001) or they meant for it to seem like it was old. The ending was so sad, i won't give away what happens though in case some one out in cyber space rents it.

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Ariela turns sweet 16 today. Happy Birthday you beautiful jewish princess you!. We ate at Jillian's on El Paseo in Palm Desert last night. It was really really good...bread like you use to make at home, salads with little dressing and lots of extras the way they should be, spaghetti with a 4 cheese sauce and pistachios!, choclate cake and choclate covered strawberries.
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Interesting conversations took place, that is to be expected. I actually started talking of things that couldn't be understood, marcail could vouch for that. I resent that some boy seemed to think that hot hot heat was the only band i listen to, i think he holds a grudge because i went and saw them instead of his band (who wouldn't). Asshole. He said i should take a guy from hot hot heat to the prom, yea, well, fuck you. I won't go to prom... guys would die before going to prom with me anyways. Even if i would take vintage prom to another level. Ok, ok, i was a little over sensitive. But that comment got under my skin.
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Anyways,I thought it was a wonderful night for a wonderful girl. Someone inexplainably did not show up, i think i am more upset than the host, haha. Its rude to not tell the host if you are not coming, right?

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This is a long entry already so i don't want to write more about what already happened. Palm Springs is really busy these days and despite the current breeze i can feel the heat coming on, i don't like it. I am seeing just how often other people lie and fool themselves, and i witness how much i play with the truth because i don't like to see things as they are. I don't feel as much sympathy for others as i use to. I am empathetic, sure, but i don't feel sympathy much. I am becoming cold, i don't really like it, it scares me because i always thought i would end up like this. I am trying to get away from the world and just can't get out of the atmostphere. But i also put such a guard up that no one can get in and help me. And i am being selfish too... i have said "i" far too many times in this entry.
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Enough about me. What about you?? What are you doing these days?? What do you think of the world?? Who/what do you trust, if anyone/anything? Would you help me if i gave you the chance?? Do you ever wish that you could just start life over like a video game and try and try until you get it right?? Do you think you really know what love is, and if so have you been in love?? How do you see yourself in the future?? Me?? Society?? The world??
Are you wishing i would stop and say good bye right now?? Well, you are in luck, farewell.
-nancy
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